I almost delayed the release of this week's blog post because I was getting some much needed family time in before we leave tomorrow for Wisconsin, but I decided that I needed to write this... I hope you enjoy- it gets a little vulnerable throughout so please bare with me. This one is short, sweet & full of love.
Marriage. What. A. Rollercoaster. - any fellow married peeps know what I am talking about? I feel like there are certain days that are more difficult than others. Particularly because my sweet hubby works in the restaurant industry and often works opposite hours from me.
This last installment of the Support Series is dedicated to the love of my life, the man who decided to put up with my bull shit for the rest of his life, our household jokester, my rock, my confidant, my all time best friend, my shoulder when I need it, and a helping hand always- My love, My Andy.
Andy.. or as most people call him "Andrew" is by far the biggest support I could ever ask for. During this process -there have been moments that have been a real all time low for me, and he never once has judged me for being a wreck, and so undeserving of his never ending love and grace.
When we first met, I thought to myself "OH WOW!- I really think I love this guy"... and then marriage happened. I only thought I loved him then. My young 23 year old self had no idea what we were getting into- all I knew was that I wanted to walk through every single second with him.
That being said, recently I have had some real cloudy moments- tough ruts that I have had a difficult time to dig out of. I have been in a funk- not wanting to work out, hating the way my body is sagging all over the place (still not over this one), and ultimately being an all around bad wife. These cloudy moments have shown me that I tend to bottle up how I feel without sharing them with my husband. Sometimes because of our opposite schedules, I will get it in my head that I shouldn't bother him with these little things I am going through since he is so tired and busy. This is the biggest lie that I have ever told myself- my husband always has time for me, especially when I am feeling so much less than myself.
More importantly, Andy recently had to take me to the ER (DON'T WORRY I AM FINE). I was having some severe stomach pains and I was so worked up because I wasn't sure what was happening and I thought I would have to face it all on my own. Andy was next to me in a heartbeat. I was terrified because I had never been to the ER before- I mean come on.... I have only been hospitalized once in my life- for my surgery! Andy was next to me trying to calm me down from the tizzy I was in and reenforcing that everything was going to be okay. Not to mention rubbing my back and talking me through the gross pink stuff they made me drink to numb my stomach. Even after we left to go home I continually was apologizing for being an inconvenience. Andy never once blinked at the possibility of him not being by my side- not being there wasn't an option. I would never want to experience the ER without my superman by my side. Next to my Mom & Dad he is the only other person on this planet that can calm me down and truly comfort me. He is my safe haven.
We have built our marriage on a very firm foundation of faith, love and trust- there is no reason that he has ever given me that I would ever in my right mind doubt that he wouldn't carve out time to talk me through these thoughts or feelings. It just shows you that NO marriage is invincible. And more importantly- No marriage is perfect. It takes hard work. its hard to come home every week knowing that I won't see the one person that keeps me going until I wake up the next day- and even then its for 5 minutes when I am telling him how much I love him while he is half asleep. He often doesn't remember these interactions, but more importantly I make sure to never miss them. Even though its hard, I would never trade it for anything on this planet. I love our little life that we have created together. We laugh a lot and LOVE to travel! I will always be his kit kat no matter how emotionally spent I am.
Andy- I love you more than I can ever express to you. Thank you for being you and being so genuine and full of love. There is no one else I on this planet that I would want to walk through this journey with by my side. Thank you for loving me at my worst and at my best. I love laughing with you, crying with you, celebrating LOVE with you and our amazing friends/ support system, joking with you, or even just watching Netflix with our fur babies. Thank you for being YOU and allowing me to be the authentic me... even if its a crazy cajun girl.
24 “Therefore everyone who hears these words of mine and puts them into practice is like a wise man who built his house on the rock. 25 The rain came down, the streams rose, and the winds blew and beat against that house; yet it did not fall, because it had its foundation on the rock. 26 But everyone who hears these words of mine and does not put them into practice is like a foolish man who built his house on sand. 27 The rain came down, the streams rose, and the winds blew and beat against that house, and it fell with a great crash.” Matthew 7: 24-27 NIV