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Chaos

September 11, 2018

 I think its pretty safe to say that life can throw some hella good curve balls at us right? 

 

Lately it feels like I cannot catch a break physically. In August I was struggling with loosing my voice completely on two separate occasions, and just feeling totally weak and spent. Last week I unexpectedly injured myself at the gym doing something that I am 100% comfortable doing  (don't worry I'm fine). 

 

 

I was reminded a very important lesson by my amazing sister Ashley (aka the outtakes blog- check her blog out here).

 

Ashley reminded me that in the midst of extreme change comes complete and total chaos. I seriously needed that reminder this week. You can't expect the unexpected. There are no roadmaps that are given out to you on New Years Eve to help you navigate through the next upcoming year. 

2018 has been a year full of changes... for those of you that are reading for the first time let me give you a quick recap of everything that has changed in the last couple of months: 

 

1. I have the Vertical Sleeve Gastrectomy that completely turned my world upside down (okay- this was literally on 12/29/2017 so it basically counts as 2018 right?) 

 

2. In a short 7 months I have lost 135 lbs & I am only 22 lbs away from my goal weight.  

 

3. I had to have emergency Gallbladder removal surgery in May. Since this I still have a hard time processing high fat foods. 

 

4. I went on a life changing trip working with the blind and visually impaired. 

 

5. I decided to take my life back into my own hands and go back to grad school. I am working on my Masters degree to become an Orientation and Mobility specialist working with the blind and visually impaired. 

 

6. I was humbled to be featured in Voyage Dallas as one of the trailblazers in Central Dallas- you can check out my feature here  

 

7. DOT DOT DOT.... 

 

Guys #7 is dot dot dot because there is so much more to come- you have no idea. I am bursting at the seams to share all of it with you but I can't spill the beans just yet! 

 

In the mist of this chaos, I tend to be a recluse. I hate being the person that "always has something wrong with them". I am fully aware that this year I have been "that friend" who is never okay when asked the generic question"how are you doing".  I've struggled with this lately too because that greeting has lost its power. Asking someone "how are you" then proceeding to walk away as that person answers IS NOT CONNECTING.  

 

I'm done with the fake friendships. I'm also done giving more of myself to others who don't give me an inch. I feel that I have a servants heart so its hard for me to realize when I am being taken advantage of or when the other party involved does not have good intensions. I struggle here because I firmly believe that everyone is inherently good- the world around us makes us corrupt. (no I'm not going to debate anyone on this so don't even try) I often get hurt when people don't give back to the friendship/ relationship the amount I am giving. I'm striving for genuine deeper connections for the rest of the year. 

 

 I encourage you to stop, take a second, look someone in the eye, and ask them if they are okay. I guarantee you will be surprised by the answer. Sure. It might be more than you bargained for originally, but it could make someone's day or month. 

 

I'm done trying to expect the unexpected- I am going to continue to buy all of the two buck chuck I can get my hands on, drink extreme amounts of coffee, and freaking handle it as it comes. 

 

XOXO, 

C

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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